hmm i have a question. though.. i'm sure asking it here would most likely mean.. not many ppl will ever see it... let alone answer

so.... have you ever once felt.. that 'i think i've lost it. cant draw. ' and nothing you ty to do .. works? nothing you draw ... feels right. you feel icky. you wanna scribble it all. you just want ot basically snap your pencil. nothing you draw.. comes out right. nothing comes out right at all. and then you think.. 'will i ever be able to draw again?' "will i ever improve again?' ' will i have to wokr my way up again? though i dont understand how withiin one night, i lost everything i've tried so hard to achieve for so long. ' ' will it come back to me?'

that type of time. that type of thought. have you ever had em?

also, have you ever thought... 'why can't i get the jist of this one simple thing? it just never seems to come out right! '

i have.

for both of those questions and scenarios. i have. and what's more. they really push me over the edge. they make me restless and totally piss me off. but why does it happen? like.. the second one. i can understand. just tyr and try again right? but .. the first question. i dont think i'll ever understand... is that what 'art' is?

recently, i've had one of those really bad blocks.. and during my block i thought a lot. it really scares me eh? .. guess i'm quite a wimp afteralll

but at the moment.. i'm still under the influence of one of those.. 'i still can't get it right' things.. and... i' tinking.. 'hello.. it's about timmeeee... COME ON" .... it's been QUITE a while.. so i'm really losing my patience

things i still desperately want to improve on: proportions, faces lookin up..generally the view from the bottom up really.. drawing a face that will looklike a guy when it's supposed to be a guy, be able to draw different age groups of chars, clean lines, steadying hands, finelining, consistency, colouring in different mediums, background.

those are just a few off th top of my head.. and yet.. just looking at that list. i'm thinking. which one of those have i not been trying to work on since.. who knows when? heh.. kinda unnerving eh? meh~ as soon as i can.. i'm so working my ass off.. i'm on my way.

how bout you?